Joseph Stephen Breese Morse

August 23, 2005

Stop Huh-ism In Its Tracks

I was at the pool the other day and, not having anything pressing on my mind, I picked up a conversation between a little boy and his sister.   The conversation, if it could be called that, consisted of the boy asking his sister something and the girl replying with, "Huh?!" in a loud and annoying tone and the boy repeating his question exactly and with the same intonation and duration.   The little girl then said, "Huh!?" again and the little boy repeated his question once again and the little girl finally answered.  

Once the boy was satisfied with her answer, he said something else.   I was shocked when the same exact procedure happened again.   His statement followed by a 'huh' from the girl, then his statement repeated, then another 'huh' and so forth.   This happened one more time in that short span that I was listening of five minutes and I was amazed.   Not by my ability to hear what the little boy was saying even though his sister was closer.   Not by the ability of the boy to repeat what he had just said in exactly the same way.   Rather, what I was amazed by was the ability of the boy to repeat himself three times for everything he said without even noticing what he was doing.  

It could be proved that the boy was registering this bizarre communication ritual in the back of his head, no doubt leading him to built-up frustration, but on the surface, he went through this bombardment of his simple ideas without blinking an eye.   It was almost as if he knew what he was getting into when he first posed the question, "Have you eaten lunch yet?"   The boy was clear, articulate and loud, but the sister couldn't hear, or perhaps, more to the point, wasn't listening.

Usually people know what they're asking,"huh?" to.

When he asked something of his mother soon after, I was not surprised when I heard a pleasant, "hmmmm?" from her, asking the little boy to repeat his idea again.   This poor boy needs a break.   The mother did the same thing that the sister did, she acknowledged that the boy was saying something to her, but didn't take the effort to figure it out or listen intently.   The, "huh!?" and the, "hmmmm?" serve to make the questioner work harder to get his idea across and buys time for the hearer to figure out what the speaker means.   It's a way to be lazy in listening and selfish in one's thoughts and this huh-ism is not confined to this family, it's an epidemic that may have already reached the reader.

The fact that the mother did the same thing as the sister showed a potential teacher for the behavior of the little boy's sister.   What I'm slowly becoming aware of though, is that the teacher of this strange and wasteful communication behavior is everywhere.   To be sure, few people on television or film act like this.   When I was listening to the kids at the pool, it was difficult to stomach--I can't imagine watching that scene in a movie.   It does occur throughout society, though.  

If you're so inclined, feel free to eavesdrop on your fellow commuters on the train, or your fellow coworkers.   Chances are, if you are near people talking, you'll hear a statement or question repeated often broken up by whats, huhs, or hmmms.   The funny thing is, though you may not think you don't participate in this behavior, chances are, you do.   When you're in the house and a family member asks you something, over half the time, your first instinct will be to say, "what?"   Interestingly enough, if you fight the urge to say, "what," you will probably be able to easily figure out what the person is saying if you think about it for a second.   That's because we rarely say, "what," because we didn't hear what they had to say; we say, "what," to give us more time in whatever useless thing we're thinking of when our neighbor so rudely interrupts with their question or statement.  

I have a boss who is the best of the best when it comes to dropping the, "Huh!?"   Sometimes he says it before you're done saying what you had to say.   Sometimes, it's obvious that he heard you because he goes right in to the answer immediately after the, "huh!?"   Of course sometimes, the huh is legitimate and he didn't actually hear what I or a coworker had to say.

I've intentionally stopped repeating myself, though.   I've made a decision to stop succumbing to a rude mind game that wears on my psyche and facilitates a selfish mentality on the other end.   I will say something once and if my boss is interested enough, he's going to have to dig back into his gold fish memory and figure out what I said three seconds before.  

I recommend that you do the same.   If you know someone who tends to throw out the big, "Huh!?" every time you speak, fight the urge and don't repeat yourself.   You'll find that the huh-er knows what you said.   Just wait to get a reply and you will.   Rarely will the huh-er say, "huh?" again.   He'll fight the awkward silence and address your statement.  

Hours and hours a week are added to the vast amount of mental energy that is wasted on the useless repetition of ideas in this manner.   I ask you to stop the madness!   When somebody gives you the huh, don't honor it, or better yet, give them a, "huh?" right back to them.   This technique usually results in a stunned look on the huh-er's face as if you caught them in the act.   Sometimes the huh-er is so confused, they self-destruct and descend into an endless tirade or verbal nonsense.   Sometimes they cry.   The result is usually fitting, though.   When you huh a huh-er, you're acknowledging the absurdity of the situation and subtly calling them out.   In essence, you're telling them that you know they heard you but they are unconsciously making us work so they can continue to be lazy.

Is this science?   No, but it could be and it should be.   Huh-ism is a wasteful societal phenomenon that needs to be addressed.   But before you start criticizing your great-aunt Mildred for yelling, "HUH!?" to you every time you speak, it should be clear that some people actually can't hear what you have to say.   This article isn't meant to berate those with hearing aides, it's meant to bring attention to the social problem that huh-ism is and help liberate the victims of huh-ism.   Please don't let this problem endure- stop huh-ism before it ruins your life.